BREAKING : Cheap HIV Infected Bananas Flood South African Supermarkets

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dqThe Ministry Of Health has warned South African citizens that it is no longer safe to eat any bananas from supermarkets in Durban,Johannesburg and Pretoria until further notice as some of the fruits contain the HIV virus according to first hand information posted on the South African government official website, yesterday morning.

The press statement issued by the government after the ‘evil plot’ was unearthed by the Hawks said that Dr Robert Galo,the American doctor who originally created the deadly disease is believed to be the brains behind the illegal export and distribution of these extremely cheap but HIV infected bananas that have since flooded South Africa. The ill-natured, heartless Dr Galo is believed to be working in cahoots with 8 South African doctors who have since been arrested.

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“The deadly bananas are said to be characterized by a reddish color streak in between the flesh of the fruit due to the injection of HIV infected blood. As much as we are aware that HIV is usually spread through body fluids,the main culprit who calls himself Dr Galo has since developed a new type of HIV cell that can easily spread and live in any condition for 6 weeks. We are deeply distressed about this development and Government is working round the clock to redress the situation and bring the culprits to book,” fumed South Africa’s Minister of Health Dr Aaron Motsoaledi.

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In a shocking turn of events however, the press statement has since disappeared from the government website,amid speculations that the authorities are trying to contain the situation and not cause widespread panic among citizens. The new plan now is reportedly to disseminate the information through what they only stated as ‘proper channels’ probably state controlled media.

Reports are the most affected cities are Pretoria,Durban and Johannesburg, where it’s believed most of the chain stores purchased the deadly bananas in bulk.

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To save more lives,the government has urged all members of the public to share this information to all various platforms whilst the Ministry Of Health is working tirelessly to clear out the deadly fruits and put strict measures on imports particularly fruits.

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