Myth #1: Your desires are sinful
Many of the Christian singles I meet are struggling with extreme loneliness and depression but they won’t admit it because they’ve been told they don’t need a man. They feel guilty just thinking about a relationship and their doubts about their worthiness for love cause them to create relationship failures!
Maybe we’ve come to believe the inaccurate stats on Black women and marriage and feel like there aren’t enough men to go around so we want to prepare women for a life of singleness.
The problem is Black women were born to be loved, just like everyone else.
We need tenderness, affection, healthy s*xual lives, support, attention and more. These desires are NOT sinful. They are natural.
As Reverend Marcia Dyson said, “The Bible teaches that we are designed to be a “complement, helpmate and supplement’ to a man [Genes 2:18]. And yet now we are telling black women to live without a man. This doesn’t work on a number of levels.”
Myth #2: God is withholding your mate because you’re not ready
Readiness is important and you need to prepare for marriage. But I’ve had women tell me they’re NOT dating because they’re preparing. They’re reading their bibles, attending church, and volunteering all their time serving in the church.
Then they wonder why they don’t meet anyone! The logical conclusion they come to is “I guess God doesn’t think I’m ready enough.”
In other words, we’ve been teaching singles that they have to be “good enough” for God to bless them with a mate. There’s a big problem here.
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